The Lull

I have lots of new things in the works. A network of energy workers that meets once a month, called The Energy Network, starts this coming Sunday. A new Reiki for Parents class starts locally this Saturday. A new section of the online virtual classroom Reiki Awakening Energy Healing Certification Program starts Oct. 12. And I’m starting to plan a Reiki Retreat for May 13-15, 2011. I have the location and a contract, and lots of ideas. So the ideas are flowing, plans are in place and in progress, promotion for the classes is out there. Now I am waiting for registration to come in.

My husband, Evan, had a second interview for a position that could potentially be a good fit for him. He is waiting for the call about whether they will offer it to him or the other candidate they were considering. That call is supposed to come today, but so many times the people say they will call on such-and-such a date, and they call days or even weeks later. Plus if they offer the position to the other candidate, it’s unclear whether he will receive a call or be left to assume it wasn’t for him. More waiting.

This is the hard part for me, and has always been my challenge – waiting. How do people do that? How do people wait for things to happen and stay calm? I have an influx of “what ifs” going through my mind as I try to plan for every possible scenario.

I know, I know. Be in the moment. Isn’t that what I advise everyone else? Just be. Surrender. Let it go. You’ve done all you can do. Now the Universe will bring you the students. The Universe will arrange Evan’s perfect job at the perfect time. All will fall into place.

But I’m standing on the precipice, waiting. And the phone is quiet. The email is bringing in ads and email newsletters that I wonder why I subscribed to (or if I did). I should be busying myself with other things so I can keep from thinking about it too much maybe. (Hey, maybe blogging about my feelings will help to soothe them. I think that’s why I started this one. I’ll let you know if it starts to work.) Part of me feels like screaming, actually. Not too cathartic yet.

I can do some self-Reiki. That helps for a little while. I know, I know. Be, surrender, let it go. Good words. Hard for me to hear right now, even from myself.

So I ask myself what will happen if…

  • No one registers for my class. I will have to cancel it. Then I will question why I keep doing this. Was it the timing? Was it the audience? Was it the marketing? Was it the content? Was it the fee? Was it me? If the Universe has given me this path (and it still feels like it is my path), and I’m marching on it full speed ahead, why aren’t the students flocking (or at least enough of them to make a class happen) to fill them (and why do they always seem to come at the last minute, putting me through this horrible repeated wondering and creating a run-on-sentence problem?)
  • No one comes to The Energy Network meeting. I will sit there wishing people had come. Then I will wonder why people didn’t show for this opportunity to share an hour and a half talking about energy healing, their practice, and giving and receiving energy. Was it the timing? Was it the audience? Was it the marketing? Was it the cost (I think it’s very reasonable but what do I know)? I feel somehow guided to make connections and offer a supportive and open place for those who work with energy to mingle and share. Why hasn’t anyone preregistered?
  • No one registers for the new Certification Program. I’ll cancel it and wonder all the same things as above.

This waiting time is hard enough to have me wondering if a steady job with a steady income is a better choice than this life. My heart is deeply entrenched in Reiki work. I literally left a full time career to do this and resolved to dedicate this year to building my Reiki practice. I suppose this is no time to wimp out. The ideas are still coming, and I am running with each one as my head tries to keep up with my feet. My heart screams in protest when I consider changing direction again, even for a few minutes. Even my freelance writing work is unsteady, as I wait for new projects, or wait for payment for those I’ve completed. I blame the waiting for creating all this doubt. And also some tension about waiting for Evan to land that perfect position that he needs to help ease our money issues and make the waiting and planning easier on my end. It’s a money flow issue, which I know I’m not alone in facing, given the state of our country’s economy right now.

But it’s all about waiting. And how to do it gracefully. I’m rather awkward at it, even still. Two weeks ago, acupuncture helped me with this. I know that Reiki can do the same thing. I admit that it’s hard to get myself calm and quiet by myself to apply Reiki, except at night when I’m falling into bed. During the day I feel like running around and doing something and it’s hard to slow down my body or my mind for long. Excuses, excuses, my inner self chides. Yeah. I hear ya, inner self. Ok.

Breathing. A good start. I am now going to take three deep long breaths. Here. Take them with me. 1…..2……3. Actually that helped. After I post this blog, I’m going to go take a shower and Reiki the shower head so I’m receiving a shower of warm Reiki with the water. Okay. It’s a plan. I’m even going to continue with this mindful breathing at least once per hour, three times. I think I always need to know something I can DO while I’m waiting that will make the waiting easier, if I’ve done all I can otherwise. I have a new notebook for jotting down my ideas and I think I’ll get started on making a list.

I close with a song. “The waiting is the hardest part.”

Have a good one. Breathe with me today. Thanks.

Reiki Awakening Reiki blog by Alice Langholt

Witness

This week has been eventful. I came to a new realization about an energy healing technique called scanning and it also ties into a way of looking at life. Events in my life lately have tied into the concepts related to this idea too, so it’s become another of those “my, how things all work together” moments.

I had been thinking first about scanning. Scanning is a technique of checking a person’s energy field for imbalances during or before an energy healing session. The practitioner runs her hand down and through the energy field, either in person or by distance, and “tunes in” to the sensations received. For me, this is a variation in the tingles I feel in response to the person’s energy. When my hand tingles “harder” or “more actively,” I know there is a need for healing in that area of the person’s energy or physical being. During a healing session, I pause there, until the feel of the energy changes again.

The Reiki method I use most often is Kundalini Reiki. It involves a simple intend-and-send process, and one need not employ scanning unless one wants to. The energy goes where it’s needed, whether scanning is a part of the method being used or not. I frequently use scanning during a healing session, to get a sense of the person’s energetic needs and report back some feedback to the person on what I notice.

I learned, in Usui Reiki, that one progresses down a series of hand positions, or to different areas on the person, to give healing to that particular place. I have another idea though, that seems to answer the question of how the energy goes where it’s needed if, (as in Kundalini Reiki), it is not being sent to each specific location step by step.

My idea is that instead of sending the energy to each place via a series of hand positions or while scanning, instead I am simply witnessing the recipient getting energy where it’s needed. For example, if I am scanning during a healing and I notice tingles at the throat chakra, this means that the person’s throat chakra is receiving more energy there, and I’m noticing it. I am being made aware of their need in that location, and feeling the energy being received there. I am not doing the healing, I am instead witnessing the healing taking place as it happens.

This jibes with a session I had once with Sarah Weiss, a medical intuitive. She intuitively watches the angels do the healing, and tells me what they are showing her. She doesn’t “do” the healing; she tells me what is happening. And I feel it very strongly. She’s the translator, or the narrator, of the experience. It’s quite powerful.

I think that I am doing a version of this when I am giving a Reiki healing session. I am intending for the connection, for the energy to flow where it is needed. Then I can, if I choose to, notice the areas which are receiving the most energy, and report this back to the recipient. It makes sense to me and becomes consistent with the way Reiki seems to work. If I know the recipient has a headache, I can intend for the energy to work to relieve his headache. As the energy is flowing, I can scan his head and notice more energy flowing there. I can notice when it evens out. I am part of the process, the facilitator of the connection. I am not the healer. The recipient is receiving the healing he is ready for.

So how does this apply to other areas of my life?

Wednesday and Thursday of last week, I kept noticing repeated messages with one theme – Acceptance. I saw blogs about it, read tweets about it on Twitter, and email newsletters from various sources that appear in my inbox were focused on this theme. It kept popping up. It worried me a little because I got the feeling something was coming that I’d need to be prepared to handle with presence instead of panic. Acceptance is a concept of taking what is coming and dealing with it, staying strong and positive, and not fighting it, even when you don’t like it. The idea is that resisting would make it worse and harder to get over. Even when something is painful, instead of fighting against the pain or railing against the injustice, simply facing it, being in it, accepting it, can help it resolve. It’s about stepping a bit outside our natural tendency to fight it, and witness the event happening in a less emotionally attached way.

On Friday, my husband, who had been in a new job for four months following a stretch of unemployment lasting eight months, got laid off from his new job. His position was eliminated after his boss was fired. He was hired to support his boss, and so when his boss was fired (yes it was with due cause, but had nothing to do with Evan), there was no longer a need for Evan to be in his position. This is why I was receiving the message. Here’s my opportunity to practice acceptance.

That isn’t to say, “Yay! I am so happy this happened!” Please. Although his job was difficult, and not the right long-term position for Evan, a sudden change such as this carries a lot of weight and pressure. Acceptance means taking the present circumstance and working with it, doing what is needed and steering clear of worry about what could happen. It’s an exercise in living in the present, separating from the emotional attachment, and being in the moment. I’m not going to panic or get depressed, and neither is he. He has already made some contacts, applied for four positions for which he is qualified, and believes that something better is coming soon. We are going to enjoy the extra time together, the opportunity to do some home repairs, and actively look and be open to that right opportunity for him, wherever it may be.

So the tie here is in the idea of witnessing – practicing a detached observation that allows me to take in the details as they happen, during a Reiki session, and during this time of transition for our family. Acceptance. I’m gonna try it for a while.

On a side note, to anyone with connections in health care, Evan is a visionary and innovative administrator with MBA, MSSA and LISW-S degrees and certifications. His linkedIn profile is here: http://www.linkedin.com/in/elangholt . We are open to relocation for the right position.

Thanks for reading. Your comments are always welcome.

P.S. If you are on Facebook and want to help us win $1,000 for some goofy dancing, we’d appreciate your vote! To vote: 1) click here and “like” the Motorcars page. 2) go to the “Wall” of the Motorcars page and click “like” under the video of Alice & Evan. (Watch us dancing our silly dance and enjoy :D) It’s the page with the new car dance videos, not the pet contest. You can also find it on the “Video” tab of the Motorcars page. Thanks for your support!

Reiki Awakening Reiki blog by Alice Langholt

Being Tested

This is a trying time for my family and me. My husband has interviewed for jobs and is waiting for answers. There are many delays. He has another interview coming next week. The days are strange and long as we wait for emails and phone calls. I feel as if I’m being tested to see if I can learn patience.

I had a powerful energy healing session last night from my friends Candy & Ming who reported afterward that I’m standing in between two doors, holding on to both, and neither of them can open. I have to let go and stop blocking them so the right one can open. Surrender – it’s a lesson I’m trying to learn to do.

Of course, I know that I have been anxious over what will happen. We might move, we might stay. The delays are long and trying. So knowing that surrender is needed is different from actually knowing how to make it happen. And there’s something amusing about what I just said: making surrender happen. As if it’s something that can be forced – that’s the opposite of surrender! Even talking about it is difficult to do in terms that make sense.

Knowing what needs to happen is the first step towards doing it. I know that. Now… how to do it. Here’s what I am going to try:

  • conscious breathing – I’m going to take a few minutes, several times during the day, to stop, breathe slowly, and be present. It’s a mini-meditation moment.
  • asking for help – I’m going to ask my angels and guides for help in arranging things for the best good of our family – not once, but at least daily. That will help me remember that I’ve given the process over to those who can make it happen.
  • catching my monkey mind – When I feel myself slipping into the “what if” state of mind, trying to figure out what I would do in any variation of the possible scenarios, I’ll stop, and go to that peaceful place by breathing, and remember that I’m letting the angels handle things.

That’s the plan. I’ll keep you posted on how it works. Feel free to offer suggestions and encouragement!

Peace.

Reiki Awakening Reiki blog by Alice Langholt

How to Surrender

I’ve noticed lately that many people are blogging and tweeting about surrender. What is surrender, though? Is it giving up? Is it shrugging your shoulders and admitting that we have no control over the events which will come at us moment by moment? Is it having faith? All of these options sound difficult from where I’m standing, and some of them don’t sound like a good way to live.

Let’s talk about the first thing I mentioned – giving up. That couldn’t be a good thing. It implies a feeling of hopelessness – like there’s nothing I can do so why try? If one who is without a job gives up, there is no job search, there is just wallowing in misery. I don’t think this is the way to go.

Then there’s the “shrugging one’s shoulders and admitting one isn’t in control” method. Saying “this is out of my hands” is difficult for one who likes to make things happen with action. But there comes a time when one has done all she can and the rest is waiting. I think when one gets to this point, it takes patience to get through it. Patience is my lesson these days, and the Universe is handing me abundant opportunities to practice. Is this a good form of surrender? Well, I think it’s part of the process, so whether it’s good or bad to shrug and give in, it is probably necessary.

So then there’s having faith. This is the next step, after shrugging, I think. This is the part for me takes a lot of effort, but many people advocate this. Just believe that everything will turn out for the best. The Universe, Source, Powers that Be, has your best interest in mind and is steering the world in the right direction for you. Things will work out. That’s a common phrase people say to reassure themselves when things seem out of their hands. How does one go about having faith? Is it a decision? Is it an effort? I think that for me, it’s both.

Deciding that I’ll take the attitude of “I’ve done all I can, so now I’ll wait” is part of it. The rest is letting go of worry that things will go this way or that way, or not work out after all the effort put in. That’s the faith part, and it’s also surrender in action. The act of surrender is giving up the worry – just letting it go and staying in this moment, not the place of “what if.”

It’s easy for me to think of all of the possible outcomes of the situation and what I would do to handle each. That’s the control freak in me, I think. It also puts me in a place of anxious waiting, rather than calm. One would think that planning for every possible outcome would make me feel secure, and I know that’s why I try to do it. But actually, it makes me live on the edge of my seat, waiting to see which outcome seems to be materializing so I can jump into action.

Things in my life have been in flux lately as my husband attends some important job interviews which may lead to us moving out of state. Moving is a big deal, as I’ve mentioned, but I’m not against the idea. It just involves rising to the occasion and taking care of a lot of details, including a period of time where my husband would move ahead of us and I’d be in charge of all of our day to day business with the kids, school, meals, cleaning, and selling the house. Breathe, Alice, breathe! Okay, I’m breathing.

So this idea of “surrender” is a tough one for me, as is patience, while we wait to see what will transpire. It’s good – getting a job is a good thing – for sure. But it’s also possible to get lost in the details, and the wondering how we’ll manage to accomplish it. I reassure myself that people do this, even with big families such as ours, and we can too. That’s a kind of faith/ surrender too I suppose.

There is also Reiki. Of course, Reiki! I can send Reiki to the intention for the best possible outcome for our family, and knowing that positive energy is flowing in that direction is reassuring in itself. In fact, the more I do this, the more I feel I’m doing something that makes a difference, and that feels pretty good.

I’m breathing, grounding, and doing all I can to stay in the moment instead of going to that place of “what if” and “how will I do such-and-such” and man, what an effort! I never knew surrender could be so much work. Nobody talks about how much work surrender actually is, and instead people say that they make the decision to “let it go” and poof! they feel so much better instantly. For me, it’s a process. I constantly remind myself to breathe. I often bring myself back to the present. It’s an ongoing thing. My mind is like a toddler who is intent on having her way. I have to be the mom who goes over and repeatedly picks her up and brings her back to this room. Then a few seconds later, off she goes again!

But I know also that there is an end in sight. There will be a decision, a resolution, soon, and I’ll be able to make lists of what needs to be done and get organized. In many ways, that will be a relief. In others, it will be overwhelming. For now, the list has one thing on it: wait. That in itself is hard enough. Later, the list will have many things, but at the end of the day, whatever I’ve gotten done is progress, and I can be okay with that.

So this blog post is about How to Surrender, and the recipe includes shrugs, faith, breathing, Reiki, and of course, patience. No surprises there, right? Tell me something, is surrender a struggle for you too? Do you have a different recipe?

Peace.

Reiki Awakening Reiki blog by Alice Langholt

Be Here Now

There is always, it seems, a balance to be mindfully walked. Balance between action and patience, balance between faith and action, balance between surrender and preparing. They are all related, and all a part of my life lately. The tough part is deciding how much of each to put into the mix for the right amount. I think the right amount is achieved when one feels at peace, knowing that one has done what is necessary and then is able to surrender the outcome to the Powers That Be, the Universe, God, Spirit, Source, whatever one chooses to name the Divine power in his or her life.

Finding that balance can feel like walking a tightrope. I truly think that the feeling of being at peace is the answer to whether one has accomplished it. I struggle often to get to that, as I think many do. But it’s worth it, because life is much easier in those moments when one has that sense of being centered, calm through the stress, not affected by the anxiety that could be crushing.

In my life lately, there is the direct challenge of putting this into practice. My husband is going to be on his way to Virginia at the end of next week for a final job interview in person at a hospital. This is a great opportunity for him, and it means a huge change for our family should he accept an offer from them. I support him being in a great job, wherever it takes us. There are many things that we would need to do in order to make it happen, and we could get swallowed by the to do list and freak out. I have decided not to do that. We are waiting until he has an offer, and then will sit and calmly make that long, long list, and get started one thing at a time until we are there.

And also, if he doesn’t get this job for some reason, another will certainly work out for him. He has other interviews lined up, and many applications in, and things are beginning to happen from those. The unknown factors and ongoing money issues are enough to cause hyperventilation, but deciding not to go there, to instead live in THIS MOMENT NOW, have been the answer to enjoying life so much more.

Living in the now – this moment – not in “what if” or “but it might not” or “what are we gonna do” land – is the key to being open for the opportunities to present themselves. It is the way to deal with everything while avoiding anxiety, and staying balanced. Breathing, and being aware of the spaces between the breaths, helps me remember that I’m here, now, and not in my head worrying about everything. I don’t have control over whether this job offer will come. I only have control over what I’m doing right now, this moment.

It doesn’t mean being inactive or giving up. It means doing what you can, one thing at a time, and not worrying over what’s next, down the road, what might happen, what might not happen, or over-planning. I have consciously chosen to live in the present, and it does take effort, but little by little I’m doing it. The benefits are tangible. I used to be very anxious, a worrier. Now I’m moving out of that mindset and feeling more able to enjoy things.

I’m enjoying playing with my kids, talking with my husband, and getting my work done. I’m sure more benefits will realize themselves as I bring presence more and more into being.

Try it with me. Several times a day, stop and focus on 10 breaths. Just be tuned in to your breathing, and count each one if you want. Observe how it makes you feel when you return to what you are doing. It’s basically a mini-meditation that you can do several times a day, which brings you to the present moment, and calms the mental chatter. While you’re breathing, try to take full breaths – from deep down in your abdomen. Many of us breathe shallowly throughout the day. A full breath is cleansing, and increases circulation and oxygen flow to the brain. It’s good for us.

I know that there are big changes ahead for my family, and I’m ready. I’ve put out there that I want the best thing for our family to happen, the best opportunity for Evan to be his. Now I’m allowing the Universe to make it happen, and doing those things which I can do now, one at a time.

Reiki helps me also with this. When I am sending a healing, attunement, or doing self healing, I am only focused on the energy flowing, and it brings me to the present. It is centering and balancing, and feels wonderful. I think that everyone should have Reiki in their life as a tool for self-awareness, healing, and helping others. Everyone is capable of learning to connect with Reiki, and I am blessed to have the ability to teach people of all ages how to access Reiki energy. It is easy to learn and instantly available. If you’d like to know more, please click here to go to my website.

As for the next developments, I’ll keep you posted. Thanks for hanging in there with me.

Peace.

Reiki Awakening Reiki blog by Alice Langholt

Pressing “Pause”


I wrote last week about waiting. My life lately has been a process of waiting. This is especially true, you know, because my husband has been looking for work. Lately, things are happening for him – he has 3 interviews coming up this week – but it’s still a process of waiting. We know that despite the interviews, we won’t know if he has a job for a while yet. Two of the interviews are first interviews, and one is a third interview out of town. That last one is an amazing opportunity, but would involve us moving 300 miles away, selling our house, and starting anew. I’m not opposed to the change, in fact I find the idea exciting, but the reality of getting the house repairs done, stuff cleared out, putting the house on the market, and all of the details involved are rather overwhelming. All of the constant stream of “what will we do if” and “when will we know?” circling around my thoughts gets tiring and, I realize, isn’t productive.

I’m a planner by nature. I like to be as prepared as possible, thinking that if I can figure out what I’ll do in any given situation that could arise that I’ll feel more confident and ready. It’s intellectually satisfying in the moment, but I also know that no one can really predict the details and be prepared for each one. So the constant churning of thoughts, scenarios, arrangements, and ideas is actually just burning energy.

I need to pause. I need to breathe. I need to visualize the outcome I would like and just sit quietly with that in mind, sending energy to it. I admit that I have not been able to stop myself long enough to do this. But I will. I really will, because I know that is the way to help all of this. It’s the way to help myself stop cycling through the constant barrage of “what if’s” and help manifest the best possible outcome.

A good friend and inspiring person, Lissa Rankin, leader and founder of one of my favorite websites, owningpink.com, said in one of her posts just to ask the Universe to send you inner peace, then surrender to the outcome, knowing that all will be arranged with the best outcome for you, whatever it may be. Sometimes it may be surprising, unexpected, or feel like it’s taking your life in a new direction. But trusting that all is working out as it should is a sure way of quieting that nagging constant stream of thoughts trying to prepare for every outcome. That kind of surrender to a blank slate outcome involves an extra step of inner quiet, and requires having presence in the moment – something else I’m trying to become more consciously connected to. Thank you, Lissa!

So today’s post is a reminder to myself, and a reminder to any of you lovely readers who might need it along with me – let’s pause. Breathe. Ask for the outcome that will bring inner peace. Things will all line up and work out for the best.

Ready?

Reiki Awakening Reiki blog by Alice Langholt

Waiting

I finished writing my first novel recently. This is a big accomplishment because after I started it and wrote the first 130 pages, it sat in my computer, unfinished, for a year and a half. I just didn’t have time or creative energy to get back to it, until the end of this summer. Now I have.

It’s not about Reiki. What? On my Reiki blog I’m posting about something not Reiki related? Wait, (ha! you have to wait!) I’ll get to the point eventually.

I started it as a blog, creative writing outlet, and it’s actually biblical fiction on the story of Adam & Eve and their experience as parents. I studied the story a lot during my graduate program, and always had a fascination for how much is left unsaid in the biblical account of the first family. I mean, you see nothing of Adam & Eve’s experiences as parents, nothing of how their kids were as kids, and don’t get to find out anything about the family dynamics or what happened when they discovered Abel dead and Cain gone, etc. So I started writing little character monologues one day, and continuing the story from different character’s points of view, and after a while my blog posts were getting 300 hits and 25 comments. The blog server failed, and luckily I had backed up my posts, so I put them together and worked on continuing the story as a novel. It was a great creative outlet for me and fun.

So I finished it, and it turns out that it’s a little too short to be a novel. It’s a novella. So here I have a biblical fiction novella – not an easy thing to market. I started querying agents and publishers, and have begun collecting rejection letters.

But last night I received one email expressing interest in reading some. An e-publisher asked for a partial – that means 50 pages – in response to my query. I sent it off, hoping that they will come back and ask for the rest. The story really grows as it continues, even past the first 50 pages, and the character development does too. I kinda wish I could send the last 50 pages, you know?

This process, along with everything else in my life lately (i.e. my husband’s ongoing job search, my Reiki class offerings waiting for registration), seems to be an exercise in patience and surrender. I’ve sent the pages off. Now I wait again. My husband has sent his applications in, and had some phone interviews even. He waits for the phone to ring. I’ve set up my Reiki class offerings. Now I wait for people to register. AAAGHH! Breathe, breathe, breathe.

Feels like it’s all about waiting. I know logically that it’s better to do what you can to enjoy the present moment than to be focused on what is coming down the pike. I mean, my hubby was home all summer, and we did lots of family things. Yesterday was our 13th wedding anniversary and we went out to lunch while the kids were at school. We’ll take our youngest to the playground in a little while to let her run and play in the sunshine. All should be lovely, right?

But how do you get your thoughts to stop wondering what’s going to happen and when? How do I stop the constant wondering when the phone will ring, when my email will come in, and when things will stabilize in my life? Chances are, there will always be something coming next – something to be waiting for – and if I don’t get this wondering and waiting in check I’ll never be able to live in the moment and truly enjoy it.

I’m always wondering how to stop the noise.

I’m going to work on meditation more – make time to incorporate it into my daily life because that’s what I would tell my students if they present this same issue to me. Stop, I would tell them, take time and tune in and quiet the noise. I need to follow this. I know it. Blogging here about it has helped me focus on an answer. Sometimes just the act of sitting and writing can help because I’m just letting the words flow. Okay. I have a plan. I’m going to go and meditate.

Ahhh. I think I feel better already.

OM.

Reiki Awakening Reiki blog by Alice Langholt

So Much to Learn, Where to Turn?

I’ve been thinking lately of all the things I want to learn to help myself grow. There’s a lot. And it feels a little overwhelming, actually, knowing there are so many choices and I only have a little bit of time these days to spend on reading.

I’m reading Ekhart Tolle’s A New Earth which is truly enlightening and transformative. I can only read a little at a time, though, because it’s a lot to digest. I’m taking away the idea that facing the aspects of one’s personality that comprise the ego – recognizing them as an observer – is a means to removing oneself from being driven by them. It’s really fascinating and I recommend this book to anyone interested in looking at one’s life with a discerning eye.

I also want to learn to read Tarot. I have a set of cards, and a book about it, but haven’t yet gotten far enough to attempt to try to understand one card from another.

A close friend is studying Huna, and what he’s shared with me has ignited my interest in this Hawaiian healing art and philosophy. So I want to learn more about it, and feel pulled in that direction.

I also want to lend more time (or even some) each day to meditation and self healing. I don’t do enough of this, and I know it would benefit me very much in the areas of energy clearing and intuitive growth.

I feel torn between these things and the minimal time I have to devote to any of it, and wonder which would be the best thing to concentrate on. It can feel overwhelming. I guess the best thing is to finish one at a time. Growth can’t be rushed, which is probably the biggest message in all of this process….

Patience. That’s what I always need to remind myself at times like this. I need to have patience. The time will present itself to learn what I need to learn. I wish sometimes that I could stop the rest of my life and just focus on all of these things at once, but it doesn’t work that way. I have a hunger for knowledge and growth that doesn’t like to be patient. But I need to.

I suppose all will balance and in time I’ll get to everything. Most likely more things I want to learn and do will come along as I’m getting from one thing to the next. It’s a growing list, but that’s okay. It’s good to have new things to learn and more waiting. Growth is a continuous process. So is patience, apparently!

Patience is something I really need these days for other aspects of my life. Since the end of April, my husband has been searching for a job. The search continues, and we remain positive that something will happen soon. Patience. Also, I’m starting to query book agents and publishers with my novel, which I just finished. Now I wait for responses. Patience again. I’m waiting to find out if the enrollment will be high enough for my Reiki courses to be held. Patience. It’s not a word I like very much, and it’s never been easy for me, but what makes patience possible is trust.

I have decided to have trust that things will all work out as they should. Whether my husband will get a job here, in VA, or in Utah, things will work out. Maybe we’ll stay and maybe we’ll sell the house and move. Whatever happens, it will be for the best, and I trust the Universe, the Powers That Be, Source, the Angels, whatever, that the best interests of my family will be arranged. It is this trust that helps me have patience.

Some people would call it “faith.” Maybe trust and faith are the same thing. I am not sure. I’ve never considered myself a “person of faith.” Trust seems to be easier – just telling myself that it’s all going to be fine has a calming effect.

Then there’s “surrender.” That is also a kind of trust – just saying that I’m going to just BE in the moment and not worry about what could happen. Just dealing with today – the now – is part of what I’ve been learning from Tolle’s book. It takes practice, because I find that planning gives me a sense of security. And sometimes I find myself trying to plan for many different scenarios, and I get caught up in the “what-if’s” before I know it.

Patience, trust, surrender – these are the lessons I’m working on. Who knew that deciding what to read next could get me here?

Peace.

Reiki Awakening Reiki blog by Alice Langholt